I started this quilt on October 17th, 2019, the first day of the revolution in Lebanon. I have been unable to write about it until now. Too many thoughts then, clashing, too many emotions then, bubbling. I never thought that I would be writing about this quilt while stranded in London, in the midst of even more chaos and confusion than when I started piecing this patchwork. Life is unpredictable. Eventually I will get to come to terms with that.
Cutting small pieces randomly, frantically piecing them along and cutting them again and piecing them again, until eventually it all looked messy enough to represent how I felt inside at the time and how I feel still: fearful, excited, confused, trusting, hopeful, skeptical all at once within a genuinely grateful mindset. Grateful that despite the uncertainty, the pain, the misery, life is always trying to make its way through.
Only after a while, when all these mixed emotions settle and filter through will I start feeling orderly inside. Just long enough to catch my breath and start believing once more in the illusion of certainty. Soon though, another wave will come and toss my insides upside down again .This process is what we commonly call life.
This life is full of messages, and they don’t all come nicely written in a bottle. More often than not, I must decipher what life is trying to tell me. I have come to believe that all the events in my life are feedback. Feedback about my mindset, my thoughts, my values, my beliefs and my actions. The events in my life resonate with the pulse that flickers in my deepest intentions. Whether i am aware - or not - of every intention that motivates my every move, its vibration, like a magnet, attracts the feedback that I need in the form of events in my life. As such I am not a victim, but a co-creator invited to give and take with the universe and world around me, using my life as means of communication.
By the same token, I believe that what is happening now is feedback. Harsh feedback, but feedback nonetheless. The uncertainty we are all facing simultaneously is informing us about our choices as a society. It is re-directing our energy, our focus and our resources to that which matters most; the primordial life-supporting action: breathing, We’re are re-booting.
It is going to take time, a lot of it, and with that, a big dose of patience and compassion to handle the aftermath of Covid-19. How will we relate to each other? How will we handle the loss of economic value? I have to admit that I am curious about the future today more than I have been in long while because our game has been tossed so violently, that our pawns are scattered all over the floor of our earth, and by the time we gather the pieces of our game again, the rules will be different. A new game will begin.
With love and candle light,